What is it like to grow up in a Korean immigrant family?
There’s a lot of pressure to succeed.
There’s a lot of struggling to get ahead, accomplish things, make life better, improve yourself.
Education is a given. You just try your best to study, no questions asked.
Your parents really, really, really love you. They don’t express it every day verbally but you know they love you. They show it by how hard they work. How much they sacrifice for you. How much devotion they show to you.
Every once in a while, my parents would say to me, “You are the only reason I live.”
My parents were really frugal and cheap. We hardly went out to eat dinner. There was barely a toy at Christmas. We were always saving.
My Mom was almost always completely focused on practical things. How much did this or that cost? For example, whenever there was some kind of car crash scene on TV, my Mom would say- “Gosh that must have cost a lot of money”. She never splurged, she never wasted a dime.
My Dad wore the same 2 or 3 shirts and pants that he bought at a thrift store in the 1970′s for 25 years.
We were always working towards the future. Sometimes, I think that came at a cost. We didn’t always enjoy the present.
I lived a very spartan existence which I continue to this day.
Everything was about deferred rewards and to a large extent, we’ve been rewarded.
It strikes me that none of what I’m saying may be unique to Korean immigrant families. Many immigrant families do the same exact things I’m talking about.
Perhaps what distinguishes Korean immigrant families is the single-minded intensity with which they pursue their American dreams. It’s a difference of degree.
For example, when I say that we hardly ever ate out, for many years, that meant eating out 2 or 3 times a year, at most.
Even in sweltering 98 degree heat in LA, we never turned on the air condition.
I hardly saw my parents because they were working ALL THE TIME.
Overall, I’m really happy to have grown up in this kind of family. It’s centered me and given me a lot of character.
I know what it’s like to hope and dream of a better future and to accomplish it. I know what it’s like to live a life full of meaning.
